The ever delicate balance of relationships

Hello once more pengminions!

The larger of the two penguins, Richard (in case you’ve never actually looked at our photos) here with an issue that anyone in relationships hear and deal with on a regular basis.

Fairness, especially when it comes to relationships is a delicate topic for sure. Everyone wants to feel like they are being listened to and that they aren’t the only one putting forth effort into keeping the relationship running smoothly. Now, within the confines of any relationship these things always fluctuate one way or the other. Both in terms of who among the partners is taking the lead on any one issue or feels more adamant about a topic, and also how issues are reacted to and dealt with. Now no two people are the same, so no relationship will function exactly the same as any other. One week someone might be giving a little more of their time, understanding, or patience when dealing with their partner, and over the next couple weeks they themselves may need a little more of a delicate touch because of difficulties they are having with work, or their family, or anything else.

What I have come to discover more and more is that it isn’t always about being right, or needing to get your way all the time. It’s not the small issues that make up who you are. Let those go! If they want to buy an extra bag of chips when shopping or spends a little more time than you would like playing a game or on a particular web site try not to let it bother you. If it’s not affecting your overall relationship, how you function together, your communication, and as long as it’s not turning the other person into a complete sedentary slob, then have a little understanding. If all you do is bog yourself down in the tiny details of your life and relationship it becomes all too easy to lose sight of the big picture, to stop enjoying your life and relationship. Now in the same breath I’m not saying that you should ever feel like you’re being walked over all the time. Just as you should strive to be compassionate and truly listen, it is your partners responsibility to do the same thing for you. To let small things go and to make sure you feel as though your thoughts, feelings, and concerns are being respected as well. In a way, that is the key to making sure things are balanced, by simply discussing it. Having an open line of communication, letting your partner know your reservations and if you feel as though your feelings aren’t being given their proper credence is the pure and simplest way to make sure that you are feeling like an active participant and not just a passenger being drug along.

In the same vein of being an equal partner across a relationship I find myself not so secretly hating a particular phrase I’ve heard repeatedly since we’ve begun planning for our soiree reception.

The day is all about her!

Growing up in a society where this is a generally accepted truth makes for an interesting idea to fight against. In a world where little girls are supposed to grow up and think about their dream wedding and what dress they want and vows at sunset and… and……. and………. Where little boys are more concerned with, bugs, or something. For me however, looking at this screams as an exceptionally unfair situation. In a ceremony where two people are joining together as one for the rest of their lives in this mortal coil, it should be both of their days. Neither one of them should lord over the decisions and proceedings of the day. If you have been married then you likely know the massive undertaking that is putting together a wedding and reception. For those of you who haven’t let me assure you it is a gargantuan undertaking to iron out the thousand little details of when, where, food, music, clothes, etc… These details are compounded even further when you are in charge of making all the decorations, invitations, flower arrangements, food, and more yourself instead of paying to have it done for you (yay having a minuscule budget!).

This single event, the exchange of vows and the celebration after, is a kick start into the rest of your lives. It is a gateway for how the two of you will spend the rest of eternity together, and for one person to exert their influence over the other is something that I simply abhor. It is all a partnership, and in this case, with Kristen, I feel as though I care just as much about the tiny details, like which plate we will place with which napkin, as she does. We want to put on the best event we can and so only by working together to make our joint vision come true will we both be happy with the outcome. The more we enjoy the process of it, the more it will show through our work in a way that will make the whole day shine. So in this way, it will not be her day. It will always be our day

Well I will leave you with that for now pengminions as I step down off my soapbox. Hope you have a great week coming up, and make sure to check out my “shameless self promotion plug” this week and look at our What is Steampunk page for a brief discription and a link to our Pintrest page where you can get some inspiration for your outfit!

Until next time my friends! Keep sliding!

Richard F

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