Now there’s obviously much more to it than that. Over the last couple months the Ms. and I have been tossing around the idea of looking outside of our own minds and thoughts for some advice and insight to making our relationship work better, getting to know each other, learning to see things from the others point of view, and truly trying to understand the other. During other similar thoughts we had found an online list of “100 questions you should ask before you tie the knot” that was a good jumping point to learning about the other. This however wasn’t quite enough as we had, through our own lives and talks, discussed many of the deeper questions brought forth from that questionnaire. So what we were truly looking for was something in the vein of “So you’re two people going through life together and want a little insight to trying to better understand each other and how to make it an easier journey” Unfortunately there was no such book title. Double unfortunately there were a plethora of books based around this same idea which made trying to sift through them more than a little difficult.
So there we sat in Barnes and Noble, a stack of self help books in front of us, trying to figure out which one best spoke to the both of us. We joked with each other that anyone else wandering by must have thought we were on the verge of a divorce or something since the stack of books we were sifting through was about a foot and a half high. Some, like the one pictured at the beginning, tried breaking love and everything else associated with a relationship down into something more tangible . In this case using resources, economics, and a business sense to allocate what you can afford where. While I love the idea of breaking it down a little more in these ways, Kristen was vehemently opposed to reducing something like love down to little more than a formula where if A is greater than B, we do C Others such as this one, seemed to only be a book full of anecdotes. Which piqued the interest of Kristen a little more, but not as much mine. For me, I don’t particularly want to read about others situations and how they dealt with it, I would much rather look into how to identify problems and work through it with a better understanding of the other person. Break it down in a way that I can potentially process into my life. So we sat there with our stack of books, passing them back and forth, finding small things here and there that we liked. It was an interesting thing in some ways that the mere idea and process of picking a book for us to improve our relationship actually helped us work together.
Eventually we decided on two different books. One was less of a book and more of a quiz to see who could answer more questions about the other one correctly. We figured with this one, it could be a fun little way to answer and discuss the questions. Plus the winner gets a couple nice things done for them 😉 Second, and the more serious of the two was one that initially I didn’t like. The reason for this dislike however was because, to me, the glaringly unapologetic truth with which the book presented it’s information. The two sections we read rang resoundingly true for the both of us to such a degree that there was little doubt as to what we would actually get; even despite my initial misgivings.
Which brings us to now. Thus far we are 80 questions into our 100 question quiz which we have allotted 10-20 a night to stretch it out and actually allow for discussion of the questions. And have not started our serious book, which incidentally enough we did not actually take a picture of… This was less to do with a wariness to begin it and more to do with a three day Memorial Day weekend at the faire, followed by a three day vacation to NYC (blog on that coming soon as well!).
We’ll keep everyone updated on who wins the relationship quiz game!
Until next time Penglovers!